Four go mad in the country.

The four were Pete on a rare foray north, Jen on a rare foray south, Paul from south of the river and yours truly. The madness: to cycle up the Tyne Valley to Horsely on the hottest day of the year so far.

With military precision we left an hour late, after some unnecessary bike fettling. It was so hot we'd stopped for bitter shandy within an hour at Newburn. Mrs Doubleu (who had a work deadline / didn't fancy it) was given the rendezvous coordinates after we'd passed Wylam, and headed to Horsley by car to meet us for lunch at the Lion & Lamb (without Jeffdog who was doing his rug impression in the kitchen because of the heat).

We hadn't counted on such an incline from Ovingham up to Horsley... but it is called the Tyne Valley for a reason, I suppose. Despite our slow sweaty progress, I was still surprised to see Mrs Doubleu already sitting in the beer garden. She is not famed for her sense of direction, and if she were to be a superhero it would almost certainly be Albatross Girl - destined to wander the planet!

We'd missed the lunch time and I expected to have to "put up" with pork scratchings and mini cheddars. Not at the Lion & Lamb though, with us being late for "lunch" we were offered superlative pub fare rather than the usual foodie-gastro nonsense.

Filled with scampi and chips and lager shandy (perhaps lighter, we felt) we set off for the return journey. Downhill to begin with, getting speeds up to 35mph, we made good progress breaking only for a 99 halfway (with monkey blood in my case).

Thoroughly shattered, we arrived back at a balmy Rosebery Crescent, cracked open some beers and fired up the barbie. Despite his relatively lazy day, Jeff was still adamant that deserved his share!